Such sweet sorrow

With a nod to Star Trek: Discovery for that title. And WARNING: Spoilers ahead.

So this is it. I’m in the business class lounge. The company is paying for this, and I’m taking full advantage of it — wouldn’t want to waste their money, after all. With the food and drink, I should be okay until my flight.

That’s important, because these past few days were bloody hard. I gave away or sold virtually everything I own. I just have about 15 boxes of stuff in storage, and that’ll decrease as I have things shipped.

As it turns out, getting rid of your life is hard.

Saying see you later to virtually everyone you love — one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Toronto is the only city I’ve ever known. Where most of the most important moments of my life happened. My first half-marathon. My MBA. My first kiss. My first step.

My first Grindr hookup. Yes, I know it’s TMI, but I need to laugh a little, and I don’t care.

Before I go too far, I need to send out a special thank to Josh and Erfan for helping with the move when I clearly was not ready (and for so much more), and to my sisters and brothers-in-law for all the help they’ve given me, not just with this, but in my life. And to Connie and Cody — who drove eight hours just to say goodbye.

And, as I discovered in the past few weeks, the number of friends and colleagues who truly care about me is astonishing. I’m so happy to have all of you in my life.

Now, I know this move is the right thing to do, but 42+ years of memories and friends and experiences and family … yes, I cried, and I cried a lot. No apologies.

I will be back. We all know this. But for the moment, I’m very emotional.

Come this time tomorrow, however, my new life begins. I’m Terrified. And Excited. And Nervous. You could say it’s TENs across the board. (Okay, I’ll go stand in the corner of the lounge and think about what I’ve done.)

I kind of feel like Burnham and Discovery at the end of season 2. (This is where the spoilers come in; stop reading here if you don’t want to know what happens in Discovery.) The only difference is, well, the wormhole will open pretty much on demand for me.

I just started crying watching that video. That’s how emotional I am.